Intramural basketball “something to see”
By Justin Colonna
Talisman Reporter

Forget the NBA, forget the NCAA, the real basketball is about to be played.  The 1993-1994 Intramural
basketball season has begun. Intramural basketball is a recreational league of teams consisting of four boys
and a minimum of one girl.  Twenty teams are scheduled to play, which is the biggest turnout in intramural
history.

The teams are split into two divisions, the Rookie league, which is make up of mostly freshmen and sophomore
teams, and the pro league, which consists of mostly junior and senior teams.

One of the most exciting parts of the season is picking out a team and thinking of what profanity you can
hide in your teams names.  Such colorful team names in previous years have been The Fired Up Court Kings,
The Dribbling Seamen, and the infamous Camel-Toe.  The team to beat this year is the defending champions,
Prime Time, captained by Kevin Rohaley.  Prime Time is trying to be the first team in Sheldon’s history to
win back to back championships.

The team is stocked with ex-Irish stars including Jeff Wells, Adam Holmes, and Joe Derieux (although I
would not consider him a star).  If you think Prime Time is lacking confidence, think again.  “We are going
to destroy every team in the league” says Jeff Wells.  “Nobody will come within 50 points of us and we could
beat any team with one arm tied behind our backs.”  Captain Rohaley will be sure to find some way to get
his team motivated before the game.

Prime Time will probably get their stiffest competition from Mike Stimer’s Spody Shots, which has several
ex-Prime Time members on the roster, including marathon man Scott Johnson.

Another team that should be interesting to watch is the Porno Stars, captained by Kelly Bowen.  The team
includes some pathetic has-beens like Bill Brown and Alan Danner who are trying to recapture past glories.
The team also has some Wiggers like John Portz and Dustin Roller.

A definite threat for the title next year is the 11th grade team, the Staggers, although that’s not saying much.
The team is captained by Ian Gabriel and includes star player, Ted Baker, who make another groundbreaking
comment by saying, “we’re a good team.”

Other teams to keep an eye on in the pro division are Nate Caywood’s B+B Construction, Mechah Champion’s
Dreamers, The Hooty Macks (cool name), Blue Balls, and last and certainly least, Team Irish, captained by
Jeff Brown.  As for the rookie league, who cares?  Games started on December 6th.  Go catch a game; they
are certainly something to see!